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January 07, 2004

SUSPRISINGLY ASTUTE CANNED HUMOR

Found at the top right corner of my
Excite intro page. 5 Britney Spears predictions for 2004.

1. Britney Marries Christina Aguilera
Even with Reuters reporting that before briefly marrying Jason Allen Alexander, Britney was publicly seen "kissing one of her female dancers," the nation is stunned when Britney and Christina Aguilera wind up tying the knot in mid-January in Stowe, Vermont - the result of a night of drinking on the slopes. Their honeymoon is broadcast live on the Web.

End Result: Within hours of the wedding, 14 states legalize gay marriage. Sadly, the Pop Princess marriage is annulled two days later because, "the constant pillow fights and visits to lingerie stores were becoming career distractions to Britney, Christina, and the hundreds of thousands of men watching on their computers at work."


2. Britney Becomes the 10th Democratic Presidential Candidate
3. Britney Adopts a Son and then Dangles Him in Front of a Shark
4. Britney Crashes NASA's Mars Rover
5. Britney Legally Changes Her Name to Paris Hilton

Hint, they all involve drinking. Within hours of the wedding, 14 states legalize gay marriage. ha ha ha.